What Do Guys Think After You Sleep With Them?
After the deed, his actions may be more confusing than reassuring. Or maybe he’s not acting any differently, but you just can’t stop yourself from worrying about what he’s thinking.
Either way, knowing what a guy is thinking about after you sleep with them can take a huge weight off your mind and let you know where the two of you stand.
While we can’t claim to be mindreaders, here are the most common thoughts that run through men’s minds post-coitus:
1. They just can’t believe how lucky they are
Firstly, most guys are pretty happy about the fact that they got you into bed. That’s always going to be the first thing they think. “I can’t believe how lucky I am!”—that’s basically all men think about after sex!
You might be panicking that they’re judging you, but that’s quite unlikely to be in their mind at this point, or if ever. So, with that in mind, we should all chill out a little and enjoy the moment more!
2. They panic about whether you want a commitment or not
Rather unsurprisingly, the second most common thought guys have after sex is panic that having slept with you once, you’re going to want a full-on commitment and relationship.
Of course, that’s probably not the case. Maybe you just wanted a good time for yourself, or maybe you’re happy to see how things go.
They don’t see that side of it, and there is a fear that you’re going to want more than they’re ready for. That doesn’t mean that they’re never going to be ready, but if a commitment is what you want, give them a few more weeks!
3. They wonder if you enjoyed yourself
When you think about what guys think after you sleep with them, do you imagine them being as worried about your experience as you are about theirs?
Oftentimes, men ask themselves a myriad of questions: Did she enjoy it? Did she come? Was she impressed?
The guy is likely to be completely preoccupied with wondering whether you enjoyed yourself because that reflects directly on his skills between the sheets!
The fact that he’s wondering whether you liked it or not is a good thing because at least it shows that he’s keen to give you pleasure too. Some guys aren’t so bothered about this!
4. They wonder if you’ll tell your friends and how complimentary you’ll be
Is she going to tell her friends? What will she say? Again, a lot of guys’ thoughts after sleeping with you are preoccupied with paranoia about whether you liked it and what you’re going to tell your friends.
So, if you’re wondering what guys think after you sleep with them, it’s probably more about his pride and performance than anything else.
5. They probably don’t make as big a deal of it as you do
Reality check here. Yes, sex is a big deal to guys but probably not in the same way as you. You might dream about the beginning of something special and spend the rest of the following days thinking back over what happened. But your guy probably isn’t quite so obsessed with it.
Yes, they’re obsessed with what you thought and how they did, but they’re probably not making the same deal out of it as you.
6. They’re not at all bothered about your reputation
If you slept with him quickly, e.g. after the first or second date, you might be worried that he thinks you’re easy.
Of course, we all know that women are allowed to do whatever they want with their sexuality. It doesn’t mean a thing, but that won’t necessarily stop you from worrying about what the guy thinks.
If you want some good news, what guys think about after you sleep with them has zero to do with your reputation. He doesn’t care. He’s just over the moon that he scored!
7. They really aren’t thinking about your stretch marks or lumpy bits
More good news is coming your way! Men really don’t care at all about the bodily imperfections you stress about.
Again, they’re just happy that you chose them and got to enjoy themselves with a wonderful woman. So, your body hangups really are in your own head.
8. They’re wondering if you’re thinking about someone else
Guys can be insecure sometimes too you know! He’s wondering whether you’re thinking about your ex or someone else that you have your eye on whilst you’re in bed with him.
Of course, he wants you to be thinking of only him, but he can’t help but wonder whether your mind is elsewhere.
The best way to reassure him? Moan his name a few times and that should let him know that the only person you’re thinking of right at that moment is him.
9. They want to tell their friends
Sorry, but it’s true! You might think that girls are the only ones who gossip, but you’re wrong! Guys gossip too, they just gossip about different things. When a guy sleeps with someone, they want to tell their friends and brag about their ability to score.
The good news? They probably won’t reveal your identity.
10. They’re wondering whether to ask you to try something freaky
Guys have fantasies too and they’re questioning whether it’s a good idea to mention something they want to try or not. They’re trying to figure out whether you look like you’d be up for something different or not.
11. They’re busy patting themselves on the back
If you’re busy worrying that he’s judging you for sleeping with him on the first date or whatever date it is, the chances are slim.
The reason? He’s far too busy patting himself on the back for a job well done and he can’t quite believe that he actually managed to get you into bed. Even the most seemingly arrogant guys out there still give themselves a congratulatory nod after they’ve done the deed.
12. They’re wondering whether you had an orgasm
Some guys just assume that they have the sexual prowess to make their partner orgasm ten times a night. However, most guys are a little more down-to-earth than that.
He’s probably wondering whether you got yours or not and how many times. He might even think back over it a few times to try and identify when the sweet spot might have happened!
13. They’re wondering whether they should stay over or leave
If he’s at yours, he’s probably obsessing over whether he should just sleep there and wake up with you or whether he should leave. He’s also wondering how he can do that without appearing rude.
If you’re at his, he’s probably deciding whether it’s a good idea for you to stay or not. If you’re both somewhere else, well, he’s probably confused about what to do next!
14. They’re wondering whether they came too fast or not
Some guys can’t hold it in when they’re with someone new and exciting. He’s probably panicking about whether he came too fast or not and what you thought about it.
This is probably the number one thing that guys think about after sleeping with someone so it’s bound to pop into his mind.
15. They’re suddenly wondering about safe sex
Yes, this should be something everyone worries about beforehand, but whether you were 100% safe or not, he’s going over it and just checking in his mind that nothing could have gone wrong.
Did the condom split? Are you on the pill? Is there anything that could get either of you into trouble here? Let’s hope you were both responsible and none of this is a problem!
16. They’re wondering when it’s acceptable to jump in the shower
Basically, guys don’t like being sticky and sweaty after sex so he’s probably wondering how long is an acceptable amount of time to get up and go for a shower without offending you.
Of course, it might be that you’re thinking the same. Maybe you could share the shower?
17. They’re wondering when they can do it again!
Truthfully? They’re probably wondering when they can do it again. Sex to a guy is fun and enjoyable. It’s not quite as heavy as women make it out to be.
Sure, be careful and responsible. But when you tick those boxes, isn’t sex just fun-filled and a generally happy time?
Do You Panic About A Guy’s Thoughts After Sex?
We panic so much about what people think. When you get into bed with someone, you panic even more about everything. “Do they think I’m easy? What does he think about my thighs? Is he looking at my stomach?”
But just know that none of these things are in his head—he’s just completely over the moon that he’s actually having sex in the first place!
Perhaps that means we should all lighten up a little and actually enjoy the moment. Let’s be honest, so many hang-ups and worries can spoil what should be a carefree and enjoyable time. We become so stressed that we don’t enjoy it at all.
Sex is supposed to be fun and enjoyable *when done responsibly, of course*. But we’re all too busy overthinking it. But from what you can see in this feature, men aren’t actually thinking about anything other than how great it is, so maybe you should do the same!
More Often Than Not, He’s Genuinely Awed
The “during” phase is a cocktail of admiration, intrigue, and sometimes the odd, out-of-place thought. But, post-intimacy, if the thought, “Is he assessing our time together?” crosses your mind, pause and cut him some slack.
More often than not, he’s genuinely awed. During the act, he might’ve been captivated by your beauty, your responses, and the essence of the moment.
And afterward? Instead of picking apart every nuance, he’s likely marveling at the shared experience, perhaps even wondering, “How did I get so lucky to share that moment with someone as amazing as her?”
Let’s give men their due. What do guys think after you sleep with them? He’s probably not in critique mode but is more in a space of thankfulness, astonishment, and reflection. So, when doubts creep in, remember: just like you, he’s attempting to decode the intricate dance of emotions, vulnerability, and desire.