People Are Revealing The Worst First Dates They’ve Ever Endured, And “Yikes” Doesn’t Even Begin To Cover It
I don’t know about you guys, but I think someone having a PILE of toenail clippings on their coffee table is a total dealbreaker…

Though dating is supposed to be fun, sometimes it’s just downright stressful. And no date is quite as stressful and uncertain as that very first date. Sometimes, first dates are filled with laughter, chemistry, and fireworks. Other times, they are straight-up horrible and quickly turn into last dates.

We recently shared a post where women recounted their worst first dates with men, and the commenters had even more stories of their own. Additionally, Reddit user u/Eseohii asked, “Those who’ve walked out on first dates, what was your ‘I’m out of here’ moment?” There were too many juicy stories of failed first dates to pass up, so we decided to share our favorites from both. Proceed with caution — these stories may just convince that you love is dead:
1. “We were waiting for a table at the restaurant. It was a nice summer evening, so we stood outside and had an enjoyable conversation while waiting by the front door with a few other people. The hostess opened the door and told us that our table was ready. He lifted his leg up and farted so loud that other people stopped their conversations just to look at us. With a big smile on his face, he said, ‘I sure didn’t want that going off inside!’ I just turned and walked away.”
—u/DutchBarnes

2. “For our first date, I went over to his place to watch a movie. As we were making out, he reached over and gave me a wedgie not once, but THREE TIMES. I left before the movie was over. On a different first date, this guy and I were at a restaurant, and the conversation was going well until he said, ‘Yeah, I don’t really believe in happiness. It just seems fake to me.'”

3. “I went to meet a guy for the first time at his house. There was a pile of toenail clippings on his coffee table. It wasn’t one recent clipping — it was like, many clippings. Out the door I went.”
—u/Amos_Moses83

4. “I was done with the date when she said she needed to take a wee as we walked down a back alley to the next bar. She pulled her jeans down, TOOK A SHIT behind a bin, then searched in the bin and wiped with a sheet of newspaper. I was totally infatuated with her after working with her for a few months, and in 30 seconds, it disappeared fast.”

5. “He took me to a strip club and asked if I liked to party (which meant do cocaine in the bathroom). When I asked him if he had a big family, he asked what I meant. I said, ‘Like siblings or cousins?’ and he seriously asked me, ‘What are cousins?’ He offered me $100 to take a stack of singles and ‘make it rain’ on the stripper. After about 30 minutes, I told him I had to go, and he asked if he could come home with me. When I said no, he got angry and made a scene.”
—susieqsie

6. “I met up with an OkCupid guy at a local BBQ place. During dinner, he ate ribs while chewing with his mouth open, wiped the BBQ sauce from his hands onto his white tank and pants, tried to feed me by hand, and only talked about the gym and his mother, who he FACETIMED ON OUR DATE to introduce me.”

7. “I was talking to a guy who was a math professor, and he invited me on a date to an outdoor play where he was playing an ‘important role.’ I showed up to see it was a church picnic and he was playing the devil. He introduced me to his family, and all they talked about was Weird Al music. They didn’t listen to anything BUT Weird Al. Then, his sister went on a loud tangent about why I went to a private school since, unbeknownst to me, he had told them everything about me and every conversation we’d ever had. I faked an emergency to get out of there. He wanted to take me to the state fair with his whole family for a second date.”
—u/Zatanna78

8. “The girl kept farting the entire time we were playing mini golf. Not stinky ones — more vocal. I didn’t think of it at first, but I noticed she was using the putter as a cane and tapping it hard on the ground when she farted. Weird way to cover it up. The taps were like half a second, and the farts were like three seconds. The date ended after the game.”

9. “I met up with a guy from Tinder at a brewery, and he was clearly already intoxicated. He showed up on a street bike with a broken leg (in a full cast). I asked what happened, and he told me his baby mama ran it over after he bashed all the windows out of her car because she was cheating. I left 10 seconds later.”
—candacea4271c944b

10. “I had a great date with this guy. We spent the day on his boat, and then we went to dinner. At dinner, he hit on the waitress, got her number, and invited her on the boat — all right in front of me with no shame. I was so crushed.”

11. “He invited me and a friend to play dodgeball with a group of folks I’ve never met. We were having an OK time. He was paying more attention to his friends, but that was fine because I had my friend to keep me occupied. We were hanging out in the parking lot before the first game was about to start when, out of nowhere, he grabbed a ball and threw it at my crotch as hard as he could. This motherfucker screamed, ‘Wham, bam, right in the clam!’ I immediately turned to my friend and asked her if she was ready to leave. I said goodbye to him and his friends. I got home to a bunch of texts about how ‘immature’ I was behaving.”
—u/Monpetitvulcan616

12. “I was on a first date with a guy who worked at my bank. We were both musicians and went to a fun dive. It was a good time. Then, abruptly, he said, ‘Let’s go grab some fresh air.’ We stood outside the bar, and a car with a couple girls in it slowly drove right by us. He did this big, over-exaggerated wave. I asked if he knew them, and he said, ‘Yeah, it’s my ex and her friend. I told her to come by so she’d see me with you.’ Seriously?”

13. “We met on a dating app and went to dinner at the lamest restaurant ever. It was like a nursing home! He told me about every health condition he had, along with gross details. As he was eating soup, strings of cheese kept getting stuck in his beard. He never wiped his mouth once, and then burped really loud. I excused myself after he asked me to taste his soup. No thanks.”
—u/mramirez7425

14. “We met at a restaurant for dinner and ordered a couple drinks and entrees. He ordered pasta. He began eating his noodles with his hands — like pulling the spaghetti noodles up over his face and dropping them into his mouth. I was so shocked, I said nothing, averted my eyes, asked for my dinner to be packed up, paid for my portion of the bill, and made an excuse to get the hell out of there.”

15. “I had a first date with a girl who told me, ‘Actually, I’m engaged, but I’m not 100% sure if he’s the right one. So, I’m going to go out on a few dates to see if I change my mind.’ Check, please!”
—u/gold_and_diamond

16. “He invited me out to dinner. I always made it a point to drive myself on first dates. When I got there, his friend was with him and did not have a date. They had obviously been there awhile, as they were kind of drunk and still drinking. I sat and had a drink. They mainly spoke to each other, except to make a comment about my appearance…to each other. I excused myself to the ladies’ room, went to the host, and asked him to please say he never saw me leave. I left the restaurant and drove home. Thank god this was before cellphones or internet.”

17. “He spoke in baby talk. We were in our 30s. I just couldn’t.”
—u/ThursdayNextian

18. “We were at a Japanese restaurant for our first date. She asked me my star sign, and I replied that I’m a Scorpio. She leaned over the table and slapped me clean and hard across the face. Naturally, I was shocked and confused. I mouthed ‘What…?’ and she firmly said, ‘I NEVER date Scorpios.’ I went to the bathroom, and when I came back, she had gone and paid for everything.”

19. “I had a first date where the guy worked at a shoe store and all he did was talk about shoes and spend the entire time guessing what size feet I had.”
—sofrydrink

20. “Well, I had a date with this guy at a café. It was a nice date, until he said he had the power of the god Eros. If he unleashed his powers, I would sleep with him that night. I was at a loss for words and mumbled something about free will, but he didn’t listen because he was so full of himself. Needless to say, he went home alone, and I never spoke to him again.”

21. “I had just downloaded OkCupid, and he was my first date from it. We met at a pub, and all he did was talk about himself. I could tell he wasn’t very mature, and we didn’t have a lot in common. He said, ‘Let’s go for a drive. I want to show you something.’ It didn’t take me long to realize how stupid I was to get in a stranger’s car, especially when it was getting dark and he drove us into a deserted park area. Thankfully, he just sang badly to me in the car while I had to hide the horror from my face. On the way back to my car, it came up that I’m vegan, and he said I wasn’t skinny enough to be vegan and that he could never date a vegan. FINE BY ME! Yet, he kept texting me wanting to go out again.”
—keelyyherbert

22. “We went to a sushi restaurant. We were seated and looking at the menu when his friend FaceTimed him. This guy actually answered at the table and proceeded to pan the camera around the restaurant (and at me) to show his friend that he was on a date. He then talked to him for a few minutes about something unimportant before asking what I was going to order.”

 

23. “I met up for tacos with a guy who told me he thought I would be fatter. He then got mad when I wasn’t offended he had called me fat. When I asked the server to bring me the bill for my half of the food, he got mad again because I wasn’t letting him be a ‘gentleman.'”
—rakishlass

24. “I had to pick him up for our date, and he complained about everything — my car, the way I drove, my music taste. Then, he said, ‘My friends really want to meet you. I need them to know you’re real.’ Annnndddd, that’s when I bounced.”

 

25. “Years ago, I went on a date with a guy I met on Tinder. I met him at a café, and he proceeded to tell me, ‘You aren’t my type, but I thought I’d meet you anyway.’ I just rolled my eyes and left him sitting there with my half-finished mocha.”
—nidaariena

26. “I drove us for the date. I started to parallel park (I’d been working and parking in San Fransisco for years by then), and he said, ‘I’ll park this for you. Women don’t do well at parallel parking.’ At dinner, he was dismissive only to female wait staff. I ran into these two hilariously drunk surfer dudes on my way from the bathroom, and they told me my date was a jerk. We laughed about it, and I went back to my table. When leaving, the drunk dudes were also outside. I said bye to them, and my date, Assholio, had the nerve to bark, ‘She’s with me!’ I told him to wait while I got in the car and unlocked the doors, except I didn’t. I drove off and left him standing there. The two drunk dudes whooped and yelled, ‘Go, lady, go!’ Such an awesome finish to a terribly embarrassing date.”

 

27. Finally: “She kept talking about her ex. I asked if she wanted to get back with him. She said she didn’t know, and showed me a picture of him. I couldn’t leave fast enough.”
—u/ishitmypants1s

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