Extremely Beautiful People Talk About What It’s Like to Be Extremely Beautiful
This article originally appeared on VICE Netherlands
Recently, while standing on a rooftop bar in Lisbon – my face sunburned and sand in my hair after a day on the beach – I looked around to realise that everyone else in this bar was ridiculously beautiful. Every single person there was stunning and stylish in equal measure, and all that physical perfection seemed to come completely natural to everyone there.
Being surrounded by these gorgeous people, who all looked like the “after” to my “before”, made me wonder what it must be like to be incredibly good-looking. Are beautiful people constantly aware of exactly how beautiful they are? Do they ever tire of hearing positive feedback on their looks? On a night out, how many of their drinks do they actually pay for themselves?
In search of answers, I took to social media and asked my friends to point me to the most good-looking people they know – which led me to get in touch with the six beauties below. They helped me understand what life is like when your face is so beautiful it could launch a thousand ships.
VICE: Hi Billie, you are absolutely gorgeous.
Billie: Yes, I know. But the truth is, like everybody else, there’s a lot I would change about myself. And I realise I shouldn’t think that way – I should be grateful for my looks. It’s true though, there are a lot of advantages to being good-looking. I work in hospitality and I often get huge tips, or guys offering to buy me drinks.
Do your friends ever get jealous when you get all the attention?
Yes, I do get that impression sometimes. So I always feel guilty on nights out when men talk to me but ignore my friends. I do try to brush off guys who do that. What also happens is that when I tell my friends they look great, they don’t think I’m being serious.
Is it true that people take you less seriously because they don’t expect you to have brains?
Absolutely. When men strike up a conversation with me, they mostly talk about how beautiful I am, instead of asking about my interests. It’s always the same – when you’re good-looking you’re only judged on your appearance. People sometimes forget we have a personality lurking underneath.
VICE: Do you think life is easier when you’re extremely attractive?
Emil: Yes, studies have proven that physically beautiful people are better liked. But on the other hand, people often assume I’m arrogant. They’ll tell me they can’t figure me out because I’m rather socially awkward, and they think that with the way I look, I should be more confident.
Have you ever noticed people getting nervous around you because of your looks?
I used to have a colleague who would suddenly start dropping things – plates, cups, pens – whenever she was around me.
When did you realise you were handsome?
My mother always told me I was handsome, but every mum says that about her son, so I didn’t take that very seriously. It took a whole year of working as a model before I started believing it. But it’s not something I really think about – it’s pretty normal to me that women on the street smile at me. But maybe that isn’t normal at all, I wouldn’t know. Do you get a lot of free stuff?
No, unfortunately not. This probably sounds sexist, but I think women are generally better at flirting their way to free things.
VICE: Do you think very attractive people are generally happier?
Nina: Well, being good-looking can be very useful. I’ve never had a proper job interview, for example. I usually just have an informal chat and then get offered the job. I also notice that it’s easier for me to get away with shit than it is for others. When I misbehave in a club – standing on the bar, pouring my own beer from the tap – I never get thrown out. And people are always really nice to me – I don’t have to work that hard to make friends.
So would you say you’re very confident?
No, not really. I know I look hot, but it’s not as if I just stare at myself all day. Some days, especially if I’ve had a bad night’s sleep, I think I look like shit.
But come on, the rest of us would probably kill to look the way you look on a shitty hair day.
I don’t think I’m crazy gorgeous. I used to work as a model, but it made me feel quite uncomfortable because the industry is so superficial. Being good-looking doesn’t only have benefits, you know. People are often intimidated by you, or they assume you’re arrogant.
VICE: Are you afraid of losing your looks when you get older?
Peter: Yes, absolutely. I used to be a professional dancer, so my looks played a big part in my career. When you’re young and pretty, everything seems possible. As you get older, that definitely changes. Have you ever taken advantage of the fact that you’re fit?
Well, I can be quite charming if I want to get something done. A while back, for example, a friend of mine was nominated for GQ’s Man of the Year Award in the Netherlands. He didn’t win, so to make up for that disappointment, he and I used our looks and charm to convince the girl in charge of the goodie bags to give us about a dozen of those bags to take home.
Do you get asked out on dates all the time?
Yes, quite often. But I think that also has to do with the fact that I’m a performer. People come up to me thinking they know me, because they saw me on stage once. That can be weird.
VICE: How amazing is it to be so beautiful?
Luca: It’s not always fun – quite often people will just stare at me, making me extremely uncomfortable. And they love to assume that I’m really dumb.
Do random people ever come up to you just to give you a compliment?
Yeah, it does happen. I often get compliments on my freckles or my hair – which is really lovely, but it does get tiring. It would be great if people asked about my job or my interests sometimes.
Can you take anybody you like home?
I can’t complain. Sometimes I just want sex, like everyone else. But at a certain point, random hook-ups start to feel a bit meaningless. And when people who I don’t like come on to me, I have to turn them down. That’s not fun.
If I were extremely attractive, I think my favourite thing would be all the free goodies – all the stuff PRs send because they want their products to be seen with you.
True, that is a nice perk. I get free clothes and other products sent to me, which I then feature on my Instagram.
VICE: Do you think life is easier when you’re good-looking?
Dyllan: No, life is hard either way. I honestly don’t think it matters how fit you are, in the end.
So you’re not worried your life will be harder when you get older and become less of a looker?
Not really, no. And I’m not scared of losing my looks in general, because the saying is “black don’t crack”, right? Apart from the occasional haircut, I don’t spend much time on my appearance, and I don’t think that’ll change anytime soon.
Are people less interested in your personality after seeing your beautiful face?
Yes, and that does bother me a bit. A lot of people don’t realise I have brains. They’re actually very surprised when I tell them I’m a really good student.
*Billie’s name was changed for this article at her request
You know when you walk into a mall and people look at you like a dog out of the shower?
That’s how I feel when I go to a place people do not know me. Just one look and they immediately assume I’m a bimbo.
When you are a young and attractive woman, people assume you must have an easy life because men are throwing themselves at your feet, willing to do anything you say. They think you have a million men on speed dial that will go out on a limb for you.
Sometimes I get mad at these assumptions. Because the life portrayed of a beautiful woman is not a fairytale. We don’t have men lined up on our doorsteps because the ones interested in us think we already have someone in our lives.
In reality, the beautiful woman actually date fewer men than the Plain-Janes. And those she ends up choosing are a bunch of shallow pretentious men who fake being in a relationship with her because of her body.
Being physically attractive tends to attract a lot of shallow and abusive people who want you for superficial reasons. This is why many attractive women end up with abusive, toxic, or crazy partners.
Psychology of attraction and beauty
When we meet someone for the first time; our first impression of them is about their looks before we start assessing their personality, intelligence, and character.
In business, management hires attractive people more because the public patronizes companies with beautiful workers more than their competition with less attractive people.
In addition to being popular, beautiful people receive special attention from teachers, public officers, and employers. Attractive people tend to make more money than their Plain-Jane counterparts.
Most men value physical attraction in a romantic relationship, while women value things like emotional intelligence and a sense of humor in a partner. That’s why some women are heavily invested in their appearance, while many men are boastful.
And this can be problematic as women are tempted to choose men who are more financially endowed. But that will be a story for another day.
When it comes to body image, the media doesn’t make life easy for beautiful women. Fashion and beauty magazines choose the most beautiful models for their cover pages and go as far as retouching the model’s looks with photoshop which puts even more pressure on beautiful women.
The beautiful woman can become obsessed with her looks. She may opt for plastic surgery, or a fitness program to keep her from aging. Any sign of wrinkles, crow’s feet, or blemishes can lower her self-esteem.
She starts to see herself as someone without qualifying values — as someone with no talent, no intellect, no values — because her beauty is gone.
What is it like to be a beautiful woman?
“Let me tell you something — being thought of as a beautiful woman has spared me nothing in life. No heartache, no trouble.” — Halle Berry
Beauty can be a blessing, but it’s also a curse.
Beautiful women are more likely to get more smiles, better job positions, get away with almost anything and have more male crushes than unattractive women.
When it comes to self-worth, a beautiful will show confidence and high self-esteem which comes from the feeling that she is special and deserves the best.
I have been a model for fashion shows, I have appeared on billboards and I’ve dated top FBA stars, celebrities, and politicians. I have been on both the negative and positive sides of beauty.
I won’t lie that my beauty didn’t come with advantages in my modeling career. It got me more jobs than most models under my agency. I have successfully scaled my business to twelve states because my beauty attracts people of influence.
Modeling is certainly a glamorous career that offers great opportunities to travel and meet different types of people, but it has also been the career that has given me the most heartbreaks, and more spiteful and fake friends.
Despite the pros of being beautiful, the cons outweigh the pros. Men look at me as if I’m a sex symbol. I’m pretty and I know I am fortunate, but being treated like a sexual object is a horrible feeling. It makes you feel like you are worthless and it honestly sucks.
I get more backlash from women than from men.
Some of my married friends blocked me after their marriage because they think I have it all to snatch their husbands.
I’ve dealt with some mean secretaries who are simply jealous that my fine face got their boss to date me.
I was in a sports competition one time, and the ladies I was paired with refused to pass the ball to me. One particular lady was the worst of them. She was on the other team. Whenever I came close to dribbling the ball from her, she will push me or kick hard on my feet so I get hurt.
I thought it was all part of the game. I was fast at running and attacking my opponents but that lady made it impossible for me to score. My coach noticed it and pulled me out of the game.
I was so upset. The lady wasn’t beautiful but she wasn’t ugly either. She had a manly body and was a bit intimidating if I’m being honest. It was just a women’s club game but she was very rough and played as if she was in a national tournament.
From the bench, watching my team play, I noticed the lady was more aggressive towards pretty girls. It was as if she was competing for the spotlight.
Although my team won, I felt unappreciated by the way my coach removed me from the game. I think about it and I’m like why didn’t he remove the other Plain-Jane women the aggressive lady attacked?
Having a “good looking” body doesn’t mean life is good
Highly attractive women can be perceived as dangerous. They think we cannot be trusted. People listen to you but they don’t believe what you say because they think you are making fun of them.
Countless times I have walked out of interviews because of sexual harassment. I remember a time my then boyfriend escorted me to a modeling interview. The HRM was speaking to two women who came for the same position.
Immediately, we walked past them, the HRM stopped us. His eyes fixated on me as we walked up to them. He asked for my name and requested to see my portfolio. He completely ignored my boyfriend and the women and focused his gaze on my boobs. My boyfriend was embarrassed, but he kept making small talk to distract the man.
I have heard guys say they never date beautiful women. They feel humiliated when the woman gets a lot of attention from other men.
One of my pretty friends, 32, has quit four jobs because the women at her workplace were mean and jealous of her. They exclude her from social gatherings. They gossip about her even when she’s done no wrong to them. She was attacked physically and verbally for showing kindness but her action was misinterpreted as showing off.
I have watched my friends become addicts because they feel pressured to remain relevant in the eyes of society. Beyoncé’s song, Pretty Hurts, talks about the unrealistic beauty standards set by society and the destructive things women do to meet them.
Society attaches great importance to appearance, especially to women. We learn a lot about ourselves and how we feel about how others treat us because of our appearance.
If someone thinks of themselves as pretty, we conclude they are hardworking, friendly, funny, polite, or whatever. It’s strange to think that we make these sorts of stereotypical judgments about people we know so little about.
The truth is that we cannot avoid judging people based on their appearance. And beauty is what we look for in a partner, even if we don’t want to. Because we have an internalized need to be liked and accepted.
Our modern society did not invent a respect for attractiveness, it is merely a continuation of age-old traditions. However, this can be especially problematic for those who struggle with their self-esteem.
Despite the modern era of beauty privilege, we can learn to put our appearance in perspective and understand where our true worth lies.